Looking backward to go forward

Two years ago, I had a car packed with camping gear and food, a bank balance made healthy by two years of saving, and five months of holiday laid out in front of me. I’d just quit my job at Griffith Uni, with the intention of moving to London, some further study, then a new career.

One of my favourite places from the trip. It just seemed so right, drenched in sunshine.

I’ll spare you the full recap, because I’ve done it before. No, this post is about something a little more personal. My contract ended last Friday at Lottolab, as we weren’t able to secure more funding to continue our work at the Science Museum. I’m now out of work, having (!) turned down a job writing news for the Science Museum a fortnight ago.

In my “Goodbye Griffith” post, I put down in black and white a bit of a mission statement:

With Kevin Rudd backing down on climate change legislation until the next election cycle, I feel I’ve made a good decision: I can’t sit and watch major problems, for which a scientific approach offers the best understanding and possible solutions, be decided on the whim of polls. I hope the contribution I can make will be a significant one, but even if it’s not, at least I’ll have tried.

It eerily echoes what I quoted, more than a year later, in one of my most heartfelt and scary posts I’ve written: Extinction. I referenced Frank Turner’s song Eulogy:

On the day I die I’ll say at least I fucking tried, and that’s the only eulogy I need.

I still feel that way. But what have I done about it in 24 months of studying, socialising, spending and other words that start with s? It’s a question that nags at me. My lifestyle’s not a profligate one in London, and I would wager my personal carbon footprint is lower here than it was in Australia. I talk the talk online, and I’ve taken part in some climate action events here and there.

But, my work was a step or two away from where I wanted to be. Putting on Lates events was great fun, and I think the educational side of Lottolab – the i, Scientist program – is world-class in encouraging critical thinking, curiosity, and questioning in kids. Another side of my work was running a drop-in neuroscience lab: similarly, interesting for people to interact with science in such a different and real way, but a notch down the ladder in terms of changing how people see the world. And then there were the Lates events. For me, in hindsight, big successes of orchestration and excellent experience for me to learn to cope with managing large teams under intense pressure, but really speaking, it was about entertaining people.

http://vimeo.com/40650656

Now, I’m not going to run out and sign up as a volunteer to canoe in front of icebreakers, but I’m getting closer to a picture of what I want to do with my life, and I want to keep building towards it.

I want to be a cumulonimbus. Sorry. Back to the navel gazing.

So, what do I do? Just like I was two years ago, I’m unemployed. This time, though, I have considerably less cash to throw around, meaning a new job is a priority, not 5 months of travel followed by the student life. That’s the downside. The upside is I’ve grown an enormous amount in terms of what I know I can do. From weathering a night alone in a tent during a storm that ripped roofs off houses, to co-ordinating 40 people in delivering a science event for 600 guests, to interviewing an expert on bioterrorism, or even just learning how to navigate London on foot – the last two years have been tremendous. It’s hard to imagine how the next two could be quite so action packed. The next steps might be more ‘sensible’.

Or could they?

Ch-ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

I’ve changed the layout and style of my blog. If you remember the last change, you’ll remember I am pretty bad at picking one of these and settling on it, so be prepared for some tweaking over the next few days. Hopefully nothing ends up broken.

Here's a bonus photo, from a simpler time on the South Coast of Australia.

This gives me ideas

I missed this one when it went viral in 2009, but back then I was planning my own adventures. Now, on a sunny London afternoon (yes, they exist), having just been for a walk in the park (… for those counting, this is a pre-scheduled post!) it seems like a fantastic idea.

But how far could I push myself on a project like this? A week? A month? A year? Where would I do it? China has many obstacles; the language would probably be one of the biggest. Also, though, the culture isn’t something that fascinates me. Europe? Or is it too developed to be fun? Australia? Would I survive the wilderness?

Would I walk, or ride a bike, or drive a car like I did in 2010?

At Congo, New South Wales, on a crisp winter afternoon...

Could I build surfing into the trip, and if so, how would I manage the gear? Could it be an amazing way to experience the United States?

As you can see, my head is buzzing with ideas. London has been an urban adventure, but it doesn’t sate in me the hunger awakened by my youth at the shack, then travel with my family aged 11, then 5 months with Dad aged 15, and my own adventures since.

View Larger Map

That there is The Shack at Point Turton, and it holds some of my most precious memories.

If you navigate the map downwards (south) of those buildings, you can see a dark brown area of land – ‘the swamp’ – which we, as a handful of kids, used to explore and trek and play in. It was full of twisted trees and sheep bones and little mystery hideouts. We clambered through barbed wire fences and felt a sense of wonder at the world, but also what I can only describe as naturalness at being there, a state that can only be achieved when the journey is not about achieving ‘place x’ but simply to see what’s there.

OK, this is garbled and long, but it has planted a more determined seed than the existing one inside me which chatters away, vaguely telling me to ‘see more of the world’. It might not be tomorrow, it might not be this year, but… watch this space.

A Dirty Adventure, Part 3

Even a mobile phone was a beacon in the darkest parts.

Surprises lurked in even the most bare parts of the trip. The hunted?

Read this

It’s long, for a blog post. But it’s an extremely articulate and gripping view of what is happening to our society. Please, take the time to read it, and even if you don’t agree with all of it, think about it.

But as an individual I’m frightened, terrified. I look at the pictures and watch the videos and hear the slogans and I know that things have reached a fever pitch: the demonstrations are going to get bigger and the political ramifications, at least for those living under the UC system as it stands now, are potentially massive. It’s one thing to see these things played out on a TV screen from hundreds or thousands of miles away, but another thing entirely to see images taken in what is essentially your home being broadcast across the world as symbols of political repression.

If you don’t have time to read the whole thing, skip down to the bit under the Public Enemy video. The talk about the recent Occupy violence is some of the most moving writing I’ve seen, simply because it hits frighteningly close to home.

Seriously. What. The. Fuck?