My 5 best posts of 2011

(Other than this one, which is pure concentrated awesome).

Straight from the blogger's mouth.

There’s no metric or rationale behind this list, but these were generally among my most popular posts and/or held special significance. Interestingly, they cluster closely around the first 5 months of the year; it’s the time when I was digesting lots of really new and interesting ideas on the Masters course, had a decent amount of time to devote to writing, and also was up for a Bloggie so I was trying extra hard!

• Super Cool Stuff: Explosion Edition: This one’s on the list because it was, by far, the most fun to put together. Not only did I get to go out in the sun, I got to play with my camera and water balloons.
• When I Become You, We Can’t Be: My first work of fiction for a very long time. The concept is still bouncing around in my mind – there’s a lot of potential, I think…
• Kill the communication status quo. With guns: I wanted to be a bit provocative with this post, hence the title. I was pissed off when I wrote it, and I’m still pissed off. However, I am a little chuffed. I said in that post we needed a dodgy climate rap, and 3 weeks later, voila:

• The Scientist’s Dilemma: Probably one of the more serious pieces I did of the year, and it was picked up by WordPress, so a decent amount of people saw it (hooray!). It highlights the problem that faces anyone trying to tell a new story or explain a new idea.
• It’s Science: “My Farts Smell Better Than Yours!”: Hands down my most popular post of the year. I did do a genuine amount of research for it, too! It was written somewhat reluctantly upon request, but usually tops my daily hit count with a wide, and sometimes disturbing, array of search engine queries.

So there you have it… my 5 favourites. If you haven’t seen them before, go check ‘em out! Unfortunately I’ve been too busy in the past few months to really invest time and creative energy into writing quality posts, but in 2011, I plan to scale back my posting and focus on better posts, rather than lots of posts.

Speaking of which, I posted 337 times in 2011 (… really? Whoa) and according to WordPress, had about 63 000 page views, which doubled my 2010 tally. Will I be able to resist the pull of the publish button and the stat counter in 2012? We’ll have to wait and see…

Official* A-Z of Australia’s Strangest Jobs

How strange is your job? And if you were able to give yourself a job title, what would it be? While browsing the Australian Tax Office’s e-tax list of jobs for a job name that I thought would fit what I do (no luck), I found an alphabet of strange, wacky and wonderful sounding jobs that people claim, on their tax returns, that they work in.

• Amusement Park Attendant – Rides (let’s start with a fun one)
• Brothel Keeper
• Chocolate Packer (I can’t help but think this is a euphemistic joke)
• Dog racing judge

Errr, is that what they mean? Photos: Flickr//sarah...//John McNab

• Egg grader
• Food technologist (Imagine someone saying this in a posh, condescending accent)
• Grave Digger
• Hunter-trapper
• Ice Cream Van Vendor

Joy dispenser - best job in the world? Credit: Photopedia/Ryan Opaz.

• Jillaroo (the female version of a Jackaroo – very Aussie)
• Knife Sharpener
• Lagger (I have no idea what this is. The dictionary gives it as: “A condition of slowness or retardation.”)
• Master Fisher (Modest Fisher? Nah)
• Noxious Weeds Inspector
• Oyster Farm Overseer (putting the word overseer makes this position sound sinister)
• Powder Monkey (these were young boys who carried gunpowder on ships before the 20th century. They still exist? And get paid? And taxed?)
• Quantity Surveyor
• Rag Cutter (because that’s profitable)
• Slaughterer

"Jimmy, your career aptitude test results are... worrying. Just put the... OH GOD!" Credit: DakkaDakka

• Tree Faller (sic) (I don’t know if this is meant to be feller, or if my grasp of English has disappeared)
• Undertaker
• Vehicle Body Builder (I understand what this means, but I still read it differently)
• Whitewater Rafting Guide
• X (was regrettably blank; I propose Xenophobe, for Andrew Bolt and Tony Abbott)
• Yarn Carding and Spinning Machine Operator (That’s a long, complicated description. Is it a sewing thing? Actually no, I think I saw one of these in an Irish cashmere store showing a documentary)
• Zookeeper

Honourable mentions must go to Cattery Operator and Lay Preacher. Cattery is a funny word to start with, and operator makes it sound like machinery. “Oh yes, I’m a forklift operator.” “Really? Great! I operate a cattery. It’s just as loud as your forklift, but tends to jump into boxes, not lift them.”

Now it’s your turn. What’s the most outlandish, but still true, job title you could give yourself? Be creative; let’s make our own alphabet!

*This may not be an official list, but they are apparently ATO-approved roles! I want to be a paid lagger…

10 things I love about London

It’s always worth looking on the bright side of any situation. I’ve been in London for all but 2 nights since last October. That should have been enough to drive me mad, but there’s silver linings! So here’s a list: 10 things that have kept me relatively sane since my move from Down Under…

1. You’re in touch with the world – it feels like things happening here aren’t just from here. In South Kensington, there’s a bunch of embassies, with big flags flying and gaggles of protestors. Big exhibitions and events come to London, because: it’s London.

2. Public transport that works (most of the time): Yes, the Circle line sucks on weekends. And buses seem to know when you can least afford to be late. But I contrast that against the large number of times I’ve stepped onto a tube platform and within a minute a train has arrived to whisk me home – no forward planning necessary.

Morning sunshine!